
Update April
11th, 2004Not much
has happened in the public forum this week although we are still
assessing the votes on pay parity. So this week I’m just going to
include an article of interest and skip the rambling soliloquy that many
of you have sufferingly (I’ve decided that’s a word) become used to.
On the same subject of pay
parity and my occasional need for an editor however, it would appear I
need a fact checker as well. Howard Blankenship alertly pointed out to
me that in last weeks listing of Republican nay and yea votes, I had
Dennis Moore (KS) listed as a nay. This would be of course wrong on two
counts. First he is a Democrat and second he voted in our favor as he
usually does. In fact he has been a strong supporter of our issues and
also realizes the valuable contributions that federal civilian employees
provide the citizens of our country. Jim Ryun from KS (who’s name
should have been on the list) apparently does not share this opinion and
voted against us. I guess I was in such a hurry up to punch out an
update that I left myself wide open for the mental faux pas.
I found the following article
an interesting metaphor regarding the highly charged and divisive thing
that politics has become. It used to be that those of differing
opinions, whether in Congress or the average voter, were able to
socialize, exchange dialogue, debate philosophies and otherwise
communicate. Now it seems we are polarized and encouraged to not even
associate with anyone whose opinion might differ. A dangerous and
unfortunate thing indeed. For a Republican to associate with a Democrat
(beyond name calling or other vitriol) or vice-versa is now viewed as
something akin to ideological adultery. It’s something you might think
about and darn it, I went off on a rambling soliloquy anyway! I hope
you get the same wry chuckle out of this article I did.
New York Times: Fly
the Partisan Skies
BYLINE: By DAVID BROOKS; E-mail:
dabrooks@nytimes.com
The political divisions in
this country being what they are, it's not enough that liberals and
conservatives have different radio networks, different Web sites and
different networks of friends. In order to eliminate all possibility of
trans-partisan conversation, I really think it's time we stopped flying
together. It's time to set up two different airlines: Liberal Air, with
direct flights between Madison, Berkeley, Ann Arbor and the New School
for Social Research; and Right Wing Express, which will have planes with
no oxygen masks in case of emergencies because anybody who can't handle
a little asphyxiation doesn't deserve to live.
The way I see it, every flight on Liberal Air (motto: Your Grievances
Are Our Grievances) will take off 45 minutes late, or whenever people
feel like leaving, with the ensuing late arrivals blamed on Karl Rove.
The planes themselves will be designed by a really interesting fuselage
cooperative in Oregon. Seating will be divided between coach class,
working class (mostly screenwriters in flannel shirts) and faculty.
The experience of flying on Liberal Air will be different than flying on
normal airlines, and the company will be structured in different ways.
For example, the frequent flier program will reward customers the less
they fly, just to make things even. Airfares will be symbolic, since
everything is paid for by George Soros. Pilots, who look disturbingly
like Arlo Guthrie, will greet passengers at the door of the plane to
apologize for the oil they are about to consume.
After the safety teach-in, mandated by the F.A.A. ("All bike messenger
bags must fit in the overhead rack . . . in case of a water landing,
your moral vanity may be used as a personal flotation device . . ."),
there will be an inflight entertainment program, eliciting the complete
range of highly attractive liberal emotions: rage, anger, disgust,
contempt, pessimism, gloom and despair. For a full hour, passengers will
watch Michael Moore movies; then for the next hour they will
congratulate themselves for having a nuanced view of reality.
In addition, pilots will provide a running travel commentary over the
P.A. system ("Ladies and gentlemen, if you glance out of the left side
of the aircraft, you'll be able to look down on the people of Kansas"),
and there will be encounter sessions for Democrats who know in their
heads they had to go with Kerry but who now miss the excitement of Dean.
Right Wing Express will have a different corporate culture. From the
moment you walk into the airport ("Air traffic controllers? We
don't need no stinkin' air traffic controllers!") you will know
you are in for a different experience. The special George Bush
magnetometers will check for firearms, just in case someone isn't
packing, and will also peer into the soul of each passenger (Good Heart
. . . Evildoer . . . Good Heart . . . Evildoer).
All passengers who pass through the membership committee will be awarded
their own "Mission Accomplished!" flight suit. They will find the fares
surprisingly affordable, especially if they fly up front, because
first-class fares will have been drastically reduced in order to
stimulate economic growth and the first-class meals will be especially
lavish to give the hungry folks in coach an extra incentive to work hard
and reform their lives.
All Right Wing Express flights will leave exactly on time, though for
national security reasons the pilots will not reveal the identity of the
destination cities. The Hummer-brand planes will have ample headroom for
big-hair ladies, dozens of pews with easy access to the putting greens,
and drop-down TV monitors, which will show libido-crushing abstinence
education videos. There will also be ample bathroom facilities for
heterosexuals of both genders.
Right Wing Express flights will not only land at airports, they will
occupy airports. Passengers might sometimes find the flight attendants a
tad abrasive ("You want me on that wall. You need me on that wall . .
."), but the cigarettes will be free and plentiful, and each passenger
will be greeted with an appropriately conservative mantra, "Welcome to
Right Wing Express, how can I help you help yourself?"
The purpose of having ideologically segregated airlines is obvious. For
the past few years we have been happily hiving ourselves off into
self-congratulatory reinforcement groups. None of us should be forced to
fly with the lying, cheating, vicious dirtballs who make up the other
side.
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